Living in group quarantine is doable. Here’s what’s working for us.
The arts. Writing in the middle of the street? No problem, no cars. Painting takes up another hour. Does anyone else’s living room look like this?
The neighborhood feels quieter than it did even a week ago. People are more cautious, more afraid. But no matter how seriously you take this, you have to laugh when you see certain things. “You laugh, but you will see,” said Hugh.
We are grateful to have a yard, that’s for sure. And a trampoline. Kevin has been on the trampoline (thanks Brooks!) twice this week, winded after 5 minutes. We have to be creative with our exercise these days.
We’re also trying more online activities, including YouTube yoga, chess.com for Poppy and Finn, online piano lessons and gymnastics practice, morning group sessions for Finn, and online youth group and livestreamed church. And creative selfies take awhile.
We are grateful for the puppy, but she has started chasing toilet paper. Not the precious toilet paper, anything but the toilet paper!
There are plenty of creative fun and weird moments to be had, and all the less fun moments, well, they just don’t get captured on camera.
Three months ago, I had one of my favorite outings ever. Dad, Mary Ellen, Josie and I attended My Fair Lady at the Kennedy Center. It was one of my favorite outings because it is one of my favorite performances and Dad’s, and we got to see it with him upright, wearing snappy shoes, on the red carpet, as it were… not on a screen in a hospital bed. It was a fabulous performance and an elegant evening.
Two months ago, Finn and I joined the O’Learys and Habtus in a Canaan Valley caravan to take on the slopes of West Virginia. It was beautiful sliding down the crystalline powder under the exuberant blue skies, and the boys had their snowball fights, oblivious to the moody clouds. It was cozy playing games in front of the fireplace and talking at the kitchen table until 1 am.
Last month, we ventured to Deep Creek for some cottage time, if not lake time. We went to the movie theater, ate at Unos with Craig and Diane, played games with Poppy and Grams and the kids had a blast sledding at Wisp while Hugh and I drank hot cocoa.
A couple of weeks ago, I was at Bannockburn leading the kaoroke table, we were out grocery shopping, and we blithely chatted with friends on the street.
And now we’re living in Crazy Time. Coronavirus has hit like a ton of bricks. The U.S. has bungled the overall management of it in some ways– although it is incredibly complicated balancing health and economic worries–and over 1,000 Americans have died. (Gov. Hogan of Maryland has done a great job, though.) Basic necessities are in short supply. Kevin bought a 50-pound bag of flour, which gave us lots of laughs, but I have already distributed about 6 10-cup bags of flour to friends and family. (He also bought a 2-pound bag of chia seeds, but no one is asking…)
The six of us Chez Tomlinson are doing pretty well. We are thankful no one is ill, minus Clara, who has ongoing headaches and stomach aches–mercifully not the coughing and fever of COVID19. During the week, we have a semi-functioning routine for the children to keep up with academics in the morning and there’s nothing but free time in the afternoon. There are chores and 30 minutes of PE required, but there’s probably too much screen too. Oh well.
Some of my friends have wonderful home-school routines set up from 9 am to 4 pm. They do Khan Academy math and literature reviews and play beach in the basement. Meanwhile, in my house, Tatum is trying to put mascara on the dog, Finn is learning how to create a booby trap waterfall above the door, and Clara is eating frosting out of a plastic tub.
Kevin, Hugh and I are trying to co-work, squeezing into bedrooms and basement corners and possibly the laundry room and overtaking the kitchen table and porch as needed. I am so grateful for a spacious house and yard.
Finn just asked, “When is coronavirus going to be over?” We all wish we knew. Be well, loved ones. “Stay healthy, stay home,” as the post office clerk told me.
I feel a well of anger. I have not used my voice for a multitude of reasons…I don’t know where to post, who I’m even speaking to, I don’t want to offend. But I feel sick. I open the paper and I see headlines and read about issues that are so deeply wrong. I don’t care what political party one belongs to, people know what’s right and what’s not. Here’s a headline for us this morning: “Apart for nearly a third of her life after border separation.” Maria, in Gautemala, gets to see her third grade daughter in Florida only on a phone camera. They talk every afternoon, and they hang up and they cry. Find some human being with a heart who can tell me this is an acceptable outcome because that mother wanted a better life for her daughter.
Here’s another headline for us this morning: “4 Democratic senators help reject ban on sale of assault-style weapons.” What is wrong with people? I feel so angry. There is no reason anyone not in the military needs an assault-style weapon. Don’t tell me that’s infringing on people’s rights. No one should have the right to kill without pause at a moment’s whim in a civilized society. And whoever looks back to the Constitution and lays claim to unending rights should buy their neighbor a tank or give their enemy a nuclear weapon. I am no Constitutional scholar, but even a cursory understanding of the historical context of the second amendment opens bare the need for a collective protective element when the nation had no federal army. There is no way the rational writers of that document–meant to be a living, breathing document–could have foreseen nor would have condoned any and every random person being able to kill as many neighbors or strangers as they liked on a whim. That is completely illogical, and the irrational stranglehold on such a sick idea is devastating to our country.
Here’s another thing that’s making me ill this week. We all look with curiosity at Michael Bloomberg entering the election race. He seems to be saying some good things, he seems like an interesting and viable counter to the immature, self-centered, destructive force of President Trump. I was hopeful that he would be worth considering. Then I learn about him saying this about his role as a salesman: “Do you want to f***? He gets turned down a lot–but he gets f***d a lot too!” Or this, said to his colleagues: “[Computers] will do everything, including give you [oral sex]. I guess that puts a lot of you girls out of business.” I am embarrassed and angry to even have to write that in my own blog, much less that it can be read on the front page of a newspaper by my 12-year-old daughter. I am so angry. I am furious.
People in power need to stop trampling on people who are not in power. Legislators need to start making laws that respect the humanity and dignity and worthiness to live that we are born with. Executives need to stop devouring power and trying to grab more by ignoring the boundaries of checks and balances; and those at the head of branches of government need to use their muscle to preserve those boundaries.
I know some might say that these headlines or quotes are biased because of the paper they are in printed in–all media is determined to be politically skewed now–but I disagree that they are irrelevant or worth dismissing because of the name Washington Post at the top of the paper. The same would be true of the Wall Street Journal or any other news outlet with integrity. If we read them, learn things and listen to people, we can build bridges so that we can understand each other and make decisions that make sense, and work hard and humbly to lift other people up, not kill their relationships, their dignity or their bodies. I am so angry. I wish I knew what to do to make things better. I know that at least trying to find my voice is a start, even if I’m only talking to myself and possibly my mother.
My head always seems to be swirling around inside and it’s hard to slow it down without effort. Here are a few things things are keeping it moving.
We are considering sending Finn to a private school, The McLean School, which has smaller classes than public schools can offer. The public middle school here is 1,500 kids, or 500 students per grade. It’s astonishing. The schools get ranked well in Maryland, but none of our kids enjoys their days, which is sad, to say the least.
Kevin has news. HZe will be heading to Afghanistan in September. It’s a 2-year posting, and we’ll see him every 2 months or so. He will be staying in both Kabul (a compound) and Delhi, because he will also work on India. It sounds exhausting to me. I will try to keep things steady here in DC.
My work is getting busier but my hours are good for a full-time job in DC (8 am-4pm). I have to travel sometimes, which is tough at home. I’m learning a lot about rural issues, esp Appalachian, which is incredibly moving. After Roshan, I don’t every want to work again without my heart being as invested as my head.
I am dreading the summer here–11 weeks! And no Bali!
Speaking of, we are trying again with a dog: we’re getting a puppy in April. We have decided to name it Bali 🌸
Hugh turns 50, Tatum sprained her ankle and Mom is having surgery. And the milk was put away…in the pantry. But reversing the order, things should only get better from here. At least the toilet didn’t overflow, which it did last week.
As much as we liked our Saturday Thanksgivings in Jakarta, there is something awesome about a Thursday family Thanksgiving with turkey instead of a complete roasted pig. We embraced the 11- hour drive to Seymour–well, sort of– and had a wonderful long weekend with Kevin’s family.
Kevin and the children had been there in June for Uncle Bud’s funeral, but I hadn’t seen most of the family in many years. Everyone looks wonderful and they are incredible hosts. Brooks let us stay in his hotel, which was a luxury, but being with the extended family at Kathy’s and Dwayne’s every day was the best part.
One of my favorite moments was seeing Tatum’s face transition from surprised to concerned to pained to indignant when Gary, standing in front of her in the buffet line, spooned out mashed potatoes until his plate held a mountain of mashed and the massive, family- salad-sized bowl was empty. He must be related to Kevin and Brooks.
Tatum got the last laugh, however, by winning the Dollar Game and taking his and everyone else’s money.
When life brings you raspberries, bring on the fruit tart. Life has given Mom a raspberry recently, so Doug generously bought me a ticket to see her for her birthday. I brought my sidekick Finn too. She was definitely surprised, as in jaw dropped, hand to forehead speechless. It was awesome!
We got to see Uncle Ron and most of the Biggars even in our short weekend visit. Uncle Ron took Mom and me to a Bruce Cockburn concert in Berkeley for Mom’s birthday, we did a little Christmas shopping at McCoullou’s and the toy store in Montclair and we had a Finn-picked really fun afternoon at Robert’s redwood picnic area and Chabot science center, where we visited a planetarium and played paddleball with my three beautiful nieces.
Yay, Mom! We hope you get lots more fruit tarts in the coming year.
I would never have imagined in fifth grade that I’d be so happy to take my kids to the Bethesda library. But seriously! This makes me so happy! Finn’s reading The Great Brain is Back. Clara is reading the second in a trilogy about the Mount of Olympus or something by Rick Riordan. And Tatum has like 26 books, so I’m not sure what she’s reading. We are so lucky to live in a city with free books! Go Bethesda! (P.S. Mom, you can consider this an early birthday present.)
Acclaimed author Joanna Biggar, aka Mom, released her second novel, Melanie’s Song, in October. It’s a sequel to That Paris Year, but it can be read as a stand alone book too. It’s a mystery about the disappearance of a friend. It’s set in all kinds of familiar places, like Mendicino, Pasadena, San Fransisco and Accra. I guess that’s what we get when the author digs into the ink well of personal history.
We felt a little famous at the book launch at the Writer’s Center in Bethesda. We got photos with the author, autographed books, even hugs from the author. She did her reading of the week this week at Book Passages in San Fransisco. She has to stop dont readings because we are waiting for book number three. Stay tuned!
@theterrace 